I used to believe that in order to heal I had to overwhelm myself.
I was not aware of this belief/behavioral pattern until a healer I was working with mirrored that to me and when she said it, there was this long silence that happens when a truth that is unsettling comes to light in the conscious mind for the first time.

I was like OM fucking G, I do believe/do that! at around the same time, I was learning (over and over again, cause some beliefs take a while to change) that healing does not happen in a state of overwhelm. NEVER. Even though that sounds super counter-intuitive.

Even though our whole culture is built on putting us in overwhelm and teaching us to put ourselves in overwhelm and stress to progress, grow, heal, it’s not the truth.

Damn. I so have the emotional scars to prove it. Any-who…

One day while in class about how to treat trauma patients, I learned a new concept.

It was through a drawing of three circles: the 1st inner circle had the word SAFE written inside, the 2nd tier said CHALLENGING - and the third circle said OVERWHELMING.

The concept was saying that healing cannot happen in overwhelmed, or safe, but that it does and can happen somewhere between safe and challenged.

It was a eureka moment for me and of course, I started using it with my clients (and myself) and it made everything so much easier, and less threatening.

We need the right amount of safety and challenge to do any kind of real lasting growth, transformation, and healing.

Let me tell you, ever since becoming aware of this little paradigm I’ve seen so many people and especially women that believe this “overwhelm equals growth” equation, and it saddens me.

Because not only do we not heal, transform or grow in any meaningful way, but putting ourselves into overwhelm can and does retrigger the trauma and deepens it if we experience it again without the right filters/facilitator/tools/inner safety, to the bewildered aching soul.

I’d like to put a stop to this nonsense once and for all. Put another way, and this is from my Buddhist studies: Progress is not created by making an effort, it is created by surrendering.

I’ll leave you with this: Love yourself enough to grow from abundance, compassion, acceptance, and self-love, not from overwhelming, pushing, striving, exhausting, and depleting your most precious resource- you.

If you want to heal your blocks to abundance  & grow in a safe yet challenging environment - check out our lady Mastermind and ask your questions at Lady Bliss Money Love Mastermind 

If you haven’t yet- you can get free healing vibes, tools, and stories at the Healing Vibes Newsletter

Love,

Ella